All the Things I Wanted to Say
Some things I did say
Fifty-six chapters. Sixty full-page pictures. Printed the size of a magazine so you can actually see them.
Three people, roughly.
The friend with no filter
They will find themselves in here immediately and take it as a compliment. It is one.
The friend who has one and resents it
They will read a page, go quiet, and then read it again. This is the person who buys the hardcover.
Anyone told to calm down by the person who caused it
Fifty-six chapters of somebody not calming down. Consider it a permission slip.
A sample of the contents
Brush Your Fucking Teeth
Every chapter faces a full-page picture. Tap a chapter title to see its picture.
If that list does not tell you whether this book is for you, nothing I write here will.
Six of the sixty.
The rest are in the book, which is rather the point.
Picture on the left, words on the right, all the way through. No filler, no half pages, no mercy.
Same book. Do you trust your friends?
128 pages · premium colour throughout · magazine sized · both editions matte. Both ship from Amazon. See it on Amazon →
Questions I have actually been asked.
Thirty-five dollars for a funny book?
It is 128 pages of premium colour at magazine size. Printing something that big in full colour costs most of that, which is why most humour books are small, thin and black and white. I wanted the pictures to be the point, so it is neither small nor thin.
Paperback or hardcover?
Same book, same 128 pages, same colour. The paperback is 8.5 by 11 and softcover. The hardcover is 8.25 by 11 with a case laminate board. Paperback if you plan to lend it. Hardcover if you want it back.
Is it explicit?
There is swearing. One chapter is called Brush Your Fucking Teeth, so you can calibrate from there. There is nothing your mother could not survive, though she may have opinions. It is not a children’s book.
Do I have to read it in order?
No. Almost every chapter is one page and stands entirely alone. Open it anywhere, read one out loud, put it down. That is the intended use.
Who made the pictures?
I did. All sixty. I am in every single one of them, sometimes as myself and sometimes as the person who annoyed me, which felt healthier than naming them.
Will there be another one?
Yes. Nobody has worked out how to stop me. Put your email in below if you want to know first.
Creed Snow
Autistic and gay, in that order, and has never once been accused of subtlety. Reading the room is a skill he has and declines to use.
He writes short chapters and prints them large, on the grounds that anything worth saying out loud is worth saying in colour.